I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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