Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
