I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
