Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
