honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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