I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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