Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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