...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
