I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
