Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
