So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
