Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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