got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
