ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
