The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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