Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
