Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize