So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just want nice things and good sex
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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