the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
