She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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