is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
