I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
