you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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