coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My bed smells like the plague
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
