i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
