I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
