Duck Duck Cougar?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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