Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
