I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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