super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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