in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize