I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
handjob tips. give me some.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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