I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Reggie can tackle my bush.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
