Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
