i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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