Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
