dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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