dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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