Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
