Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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