she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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