she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
