Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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