Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
