I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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