Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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