I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize