i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
