Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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