I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
