I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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