Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
