Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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