Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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