I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
