one two three fourrrrnication!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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