drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize